Jedi's Archives

Music to Write By, BSG-style

2009-07-03T03:46:00Z

This is partly for jeebs83 and partly for xkatie_kittenx, since both have requested at various points over the last few days to see the Insanity Underrated playlist ever since I mentioned that I was making one. I did something similar for TIS, as readers of that longfic will know, and I'm beginning to think that a barometer of how serious I am about a fic is whether I make a playlist for it. Heh.

Basically, I as a writer cannot seem to produce anything worth reading unless I listen to music while I am doing it - preferably music that has a lot to do (in my own mind) with whichever characters I happen to be writing about and their story. It's another of my idiosyncratic kinks, just like the fact that I need to have an outline before I start writing any longfic. Since I do make those outlines in advance of a single word getting written, the task of putting together a playlist is made a lot easier.

So. Here be the Insanity Underrated playlist. It is culled partly from my Kara playlist - which in turn heavily influenced my writing of The Sound of One Hand Clapping - and partly from the songs I tend to naturally listen to while I'm working on the fic. In most cases I've included only partial lyrics, but each song title is a link to the full lyrics if you want them. Some songs are further explained by my notes, but I've left others purposefully vague due to spoilers. Those of you who want to figure out their meaning or the reason they're included, put on your thinking caps! ;)

Oh, and the icon? Very, very, VERY relevant. And that's all I'll say for now.

Front Row - Alanis Morrisette
I am totally short of breath for you
Why can't you shut your stuff off ...
I'm in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you close up
... For a while while I'm speaking
You know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some time alone
Fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always have to be about you
I've been wanting your undivided attention I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your
charmed life (seemingly)?
I'm in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you close up
Hey I'm not mad at you guardian
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your jeckyl and hydeness
I'm glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh and said "come here let me clip your wings!"
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away you don't owe him
anything)
"Raise the roof!" you yelled "Yeah raise the roof!" I yelled back.
(Unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.)
No thanks to the soap box
Having me rile against them won't make an ounce of difference ...

(Lee/Kara, from his perspective - aside from the "I know he's blood ..." line, which is Kara. This song informed a metric ton of the S1 arc of Insanity Underrated, and I actually refer to it in my Author's Notes for the "Colonial Day" chapter. But it also applies to later parts of the fic, especially one particular line. And nope ... I'm not telling which.)

Before You - Chantal Kreviazuk
Baby, before you
Well, I was bad news
In lettin' me love you
I think I can get through

Oh, baby before you
Well, I was so scared
I was a train wreck waitin' to happen
On the way to nowhere

And now I think it's kinda funny that you say you love me
You tell me that I'm crazy then you smile

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Bein' a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
And now I think I'll get through

Ever since I met you on a cloudy Monday
I can't believe how much I love the rain

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Life as a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
Now I think I'll get through

(Lee/Kara from Kara's perspective this time around. I can't say much about this song, really, except that it's so THEM it hurts.)

Wunderkind - Alanis Morrisette
I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh oh oh oooooh
I am a ground-breaker naive enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh oh oh oooooh
I am a Joan of Arc and smart enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne

Destined to reign, destined to roam

(This song doesn't sound like Kara just from those lyrics, but it is. "Wunderkind" is actually from the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe soundtrack, but it fits my girl almost perfectly.)

Ultimate - Lindsey Lohan
You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cause I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

You're the kind of guy whose hands in mine send shivers up and down my spine
You took my heart and put it back together again.

You're the kind of guy that blows my mind
But now it's my turn
You've been right in front of me
Everything I need
Why didn't I see

(I've never really been a fan of Lohan's, especially after she started pulling all the crap with drugs and so forth, but I love this song, and there's something about it that just screams L/K to me. :D)

Dark Road - Annie Lennox
It's a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
You're never gonna find me there oh no
I've got an open door
It didn't get there by itself
It didn't get there by itself

There's a feelin
But you're not feelin' it at all
There's a meaning
But you're not listening any more
I look at that open road
I'm gonna walk there by myself

And if you catch me
I might try to run away
You know I can't be here too long
And if you let me
I might try to make you stay
Seems you never realise a good thing
Till it's gone ...
Maybe I'm still searchin'
But I don't know what it means
All the fires of destruction are still
Burnin' in my dreams
There's no water that can wash away
This longin' to come clean
Hey yea yea....

I can't find the joy within my soul
It's just sadness takin' hold
I wanna come in from the cold
And make myself renewed again
It takes strength to live this way
The same old madness every day
I wanna kick these blues away
I wanna learn to live again ...

(Poor Kara. She is damaged goods, no question about it. The trick is convincing her that she is good enough for Lee and that her being with him won't destroy him.)

Love Is Blind - Annie Lennox
Oh the grass is growin' greener
On the other side
Nothing else has meaning
When I got you on my mind
I so wanna see you
Don't they say that love is blind?
Oh love is blind
Love is blind

I got so much trouble gettin' into this
Can't decide if its hell or bliss
Sometimes I feel like I dont exist
Cut my veins and slit my wrists
Goodbye
Goodbye

That's all she wrote
As she tied that knot around her throat
Wipe my eyes
Dry my tears
Wait for you for a thousand years

Oh lover
Make me yours again
Even though your thrill is gone
All my feelings still remain
Even though your thrill is gone
I'm gonna love you just the same

Can't you see that I'm addicted
To the notion of a someone
Who could take me from this wretched state
Save me from the bitterness and hatred of humanity
It's so screwed up

Tired of bein' down on luck
Tired of bein' beaten up
Tired of bein' so screwed up
Tired of all this desperation
Tired of all this mad frustration
Tired of all the aggravation
Sick and tired of devastation
Give it some consideration

(Before I even shipped Lee/Kara, just when I was starting to watch BSG, I bought Annie Lennox's album "Songs of Mass Destruction" and was absolutely stunned at myself that I could link every single song, save one, right back to the series. It just boggled my mind. This is the Lee/Kara song, and the minute I heard it I said, "That's them, to a tee." Even in the context of Insanity Underrated, it works.)

Smithereens - Annie Lennox
I saw your picture
It made me sorry
For all the things
I never said
It seems that you
Have cause to worry
It seems that you
Don't wish me well

Behind the victim
Behind the trouble
Are all the things
You've not expressed
I see you standing behind your mother
I see you hiding behind her dress

So don't make me sad
I couldn't stand to watch you fall
'cause everybody has a tender heart
Remember this
I didn't mean to break it down to smithereens

I heard you crying
I learned the story
I saw the shadows behind the past
They fall behind you
And creep up slowly
We're only human
Behind the mask

So don't take me down
I couldn't stand to watch you fall
'Cause everybody has a broken heart
Remember this
I couldn't stand to break it down to smithereens

(Unpopular opinion is unpopular, but: I actually don't mind Dee. I think the writers did a horrible job with her character, and particularly with S4.5 it almost seemed to me like they woke up and said to themselves, "Oops, we've accidentally portrayed her as an evil sadistic OTP-destroying bitch, whatever shall we do? Oh, I've got it! Let's have her say one last goodbye to Lee and then, you know, off herself! That'll take care of things!" Unfair, because I think she could've gotten a much better lot both on the series and in fans' hearts. She deserves a much better lot. I originally kind of went along with the writers' portrayal and hated her. Then I heard this song, and my entire perspective changed. Total paradigm shift. Dee really just had the misfortune to be caught up in the whole Apollo/Starbuck debacle, and very few people emerged from that with their reputations entirely sanitized. I have a lot of sympathy for Dee and I think she endured so much more than she should have had to. And she got a piss-poor ending to boot. Someday I'm going to write a sympathetic!Dee fic, but until then, she will have a place in Insanity Underrated. Probably not one you expect, but nonetheless.)

Ghosts In My Machine - Annie Lennox
I've seen too much
I know too much
I hurt too much
I feel too much
I dread too much
I dream too much
I'm caught up by the ghosts in my machine

I'm bruised and battered by the storm
Can't find a place to keep me warm
My mind is broken and forlorn

I think too much
I do too much
I fall too much
I fail too much
I cry too much
I die too much
I'm haunted by the ghosts in my machine

Give me some of that medicine
To make me forget
(I can't find it)
I need something easier
(can't find it)
'Cause I ain't found it yet
I ain't found it yet
I ain't found it
No no no no

Oh womankind was born of pain
My soul keeps hurting just the same
Oh come and take this pain away

I give too much
Get used too much
I lose too much
Get bruised too much
I need too much
I bleed too much
I'm sleeping with the ghosts in my machine

I said I love you baby
Guess I always will
I said I love to baby
Guess I always will
I said I love you baby
Guess I always will

(If the last song was intended to be from Dee's point of view, "Ghosts In My Machine" is pure Kara. Again, the first time I heard this I stopped and said to myself, "That's my girl in a nutshell," and to this day I can't see it any other way. The "medicine" is, of course, booze. Heh.)

Through the Glass Darkly - Annie Lennox
I'm caught up in the middle
But I'll take it to the end
It's comin' back together
And it's breakin' down again
If I could find a reason
I'd say you were my friend
If I could find a reason
I'd say it once again

When I'm with you the days are bittersweet
Still I can't remember what it feels to be complete
I've tried pretending
But it drives me off my feet

I don't know what it's coming to
But I'm looking through
The glass darkly ... yeah

Bright lights
Come and go
Playin' blues songs on my radio
Shadows still appear
In the house tonight
Ooh yeah
Ghosts that come in from the past
All those ghosts that keep on comin' back
Slidin' through the walls
And my windows
Ooh yeah

("Through the Glass Darkly" is the title of the Kara journal I maintain for my claim at theatrical_muse, and again, it couldn't be a truer portrayal of her if it tried.)

Lost - Annie Lennox
This is the sound of those murderous drums
The marching of footsteps
The twisting of thumbs
Over and over
Again here it comes

We're lost
(baby come again don't let me fall)
We're lost
(baby come again despite it all)
Were lost
(baby come)
(baby come)

Tell me the story
'bout when you were young
I want to hear it again
Leave in the part
Where the hero gets stung
I want to savour it
I want to play it again

This is the sound of a baby's first breath
The dying of footsteps
The touching of flesh
To hold in your memory
To keep by your chest

(This song has the honour of being on both the Insanity Underrated and the TIS playlists, and is as I interpret it a really interesting look at post-traumatic stress disorder in the military. And that is really all I can say about it right now, heh.)

Coloured Bedspread - Annie Lennox
Bright lights are growing dim
I wanna hide again
The nights are cavin' in
On my coloured bedspread
I wanna drift so far
To slip out of the crowd
It doesn't matter how
On my coloured bedspread

You make the stars dissolve
Like sugar melting in my mouth

Some people come and go
But they won't ever know
About the things we do
On my coloured bedspread
I remember places I've been to
Remember things I never knew
Remember dreams that all came true
On my coloured bedspread

We make the stars collide
I touch the planets
Through your eyes

(Lee/Kara, from Kara's perspective. Can't really say much more, hehe.)

Big Sky - Annie Lennox
Big sky
I'm gonna hurt you
Big sky
You'll remember this
Big sky
Up above the rain
How can I ever put a stop to it?
Look you in the face again

Big sky
I'll never let you go
Big sky
Baby I told you so
Big sky
Look at this swollen pride
I got so busy lookin' out for you
When were you by my side?

When I'm breathin'
When I'm sleepin'
I can't think of nothing else
All my longing'
All my waiting'
All my wailin'
All my standin' on the shelf
How am I ever gonna get through this
Back to myself again?

(If I were the type to write songfics, which I definitely am not, I probably would have done one to this with Lee/Kara. As it was I'd been thinking of writing a fic inspired by this song and centred around the aftermath of the New Caprica encounter, but I haven't quite gotten around to that yet. "Big Sky" will have a very different meaning when it comes to Insanity Underrated, though.)

Fingernail Moon - Annie Lennox
Fingernail moon
Up in the sky
Come out and see me
See me sometimes
'cause I'm here alone
Stuck in the blue
No distance between us
Between me and you
I've got nothing to hide
I've got nothing to lose
You'll be by my side
C'mon tell me the truth

Elegant moon
You cut like a knife
It does me no favours
To stay out of my sight
Suspended like glass
All ancient and new
All of space lies between us
Between me and you
There's no need to be shy
There's no need to be scared
I need you tonight
Come on out if you dare

I'm just a girl with my feet on the ground
I'm just a girl with my head goin' round
I feel so sad
There's something unsettling under my skin
I don't know the reason or where to begin
Caught in the circles I've found myself in
But I want to reach out and touch you

(One of the few non-angsty songs. Heh.)

1234 - Feist
One, two, three, four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can't tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then

(Ahh, back to your regularly-scheduled angstiness. Hehe.)

Last Exit To Eden - Amanda Marshall
The walls are thin here in this motel room
Some fool is raging overhead
He's preaching the gospel according to
Johnnie Walker Red
Four hundred miles talking to myself
Me and your memory end up here
I tell myself I'm gonna be alright
But it's still not clear
Did I just miss
The last exit to Eden
Is this the only love I'll know
Like a Judas kiss
Did my heart betray me
Back on the road I never chose
There are some sins that you can justify
But not the one I'm guilty of
I had a choice one last chance ago
But I turned my back on love
Did I just miss
The last exit to Eden
Is this the only love I'll know
Like a Judas kiss
Did my heart betray me
Back on the road I never chose
I can hear a man upstairs, he's crying out
'Fall on your knees, the end is near'
We both may need a saviour, tonight I fear that mine
Is the one that I left waiting far from here

(Kara. Caprica. Beginning of S2. More need not be said, I think - or if I did, I'd be spoilery, LOL.)

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Oh baby dont you know I suffer?
Oh baby can you hear me moan?
You caught me under false pretenses
How long before you let me go?

You set my soul alight
You set my soul alight

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

I thought I was a fool for no one
Oh baby I'm a fool for you
You're the queen of the superficial
And how long before you tell the truth

You set my soul alight
You set my soul alight

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(Partly Lee/Kara from his point of view and partly my own relationship as the author with Insanity Underrated. I have a similar kind of love/hate relationship with TIS.)

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

[Verse 1]
You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And Hell Yeah
I’m the motherfucking princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right

[Bridge:]
She’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

[Chorus:]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
That's Right! No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

[Verse 2]
I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again!)

(I'm not really a fan of Avril Lavigne's - in fact, I think she's dumber than a sack of hammers. However, isn't this song so Kara? Hehehehe.)

Today I Met The Boy I'm Gonna Marry - The Crystals
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's all I wanted all my life and even more
He smiled at me and the music started playing
Here comes the bride when he walked through the door
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
The boy who's life and dreams and love I wanna share
The boy whose on my hand a band of gold will bear
The band of gold I always dreamed I'd wear
When we kissed I felt a sweet sensation
This time it wasn't just my imagination
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's just what I've been waiting for oh yes
With every kiss it's as if my heart keeps saying
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry

(*smiles* *zips lips* *whistles innocently* *remembers she can't whistle and hums instead*)

Call And Answer - Barenaked Ladies
You think I'm only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
A game of who loves more than whom

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think it's only fair to do what's
Best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same
To me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
More than only fair

So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
Those crazy, messed-up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now its time to prove that you've come back
Here to rebuild

(This is Lee's perspective on their relationship, and it's a pretty accurate one, I think. One line particularly jumps out at me: "Don't ever do/Those crazy messed-up things that you do/If you ever do/I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you." Yyyyyyyyep. Yet he's usually there to pick up the pieces anyway, heh.)

SuperGirl - Krystal Harris
Sometimes I have dreams
I picture myself flying
Above the clouds
High in the sky
Conquering the world
With my magic piano
Never being scared
But then I realize

[chorus:]
I'm supergirl
And I'm here
To save the world
And I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
I'm supergirl
And I'm here to
Save the world
And I wanna know
Why I feel so alone

Seems like a dream
But there's one thing missing
Nobody's here with me
(Here with me)
To share in all that
I've been given
I need someone
That's strong enough for me

(Oh, Kara. When are you going to open your eyes and see that the person you want and need is right there in front of you???)

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you

When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you

(Aww, Lee. Such a closet romantic, hehe.)

Lovers In A Dangerous Time - Barenaked Ladies
Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by?
We never get to stop and open our eyes
One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall
Next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This fragrant skin, this hair like lace
Spirits open to thrust of grace
Never a breath you can't afford to waste

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you're made to feel as if your loves a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
You gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight

(Pretty self-explanatory, unfortunately for Lee/Kara. But there's an undercurrent of hope there too!)

Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones
Street Fighting ManEv'rywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
'Cause summer's here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band
'Cause in sleepy London town
There's just no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! Think the time is right for a palace revolution
But where I live the game to play is compromise solution
Well, then what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band
'Cause in sleepy London town
There's no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! Said my name is called disturbance
I'll shout and scream, I'll kill the king, I'll rail at all his servants
Well, what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band
'Cause in sleepy London town
There's no place for a street fighting man
No

(Because some people don't want to welcome their new Cylon overlords, dammit!)

Best Of Me - Amanda Marshall
Drop those flowers - back away slowly
You jumped in thinking this was holy water
Well surprise surprise
This is not a test
Welcome to the party
I've been on my best behaviour but I think it's time
You saw the other side
CHORUS

I'm a tough tough game that no one can master
I'm a tall tall tale no one believes
I'm a long dark night with no morning after
Lucky you
You get the best of me

Brand new day - honeymoon's over
Peace and quiet puts me in a coma anyway
It's just a waste of time
This is not a dream
Do you get the picture
I know I may seem peculiar
Baby gimme time

(This is Kara Thrace to a TEE, hehe. Look out, Lee!)

All Along The Watchtower - Bear McCreary
"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl

(Well, duh. You knew this had to be on here - it's pretty much a no-brainer!)

Porcelain - Moby

(This is an instrumental song mostly, so no lyrics, but there is a hauntingly beautiful quality about it that never fails to get me every time. It also has a special meaning for Insanity Underrated.)

Brand New Day - Forty Foot Echo
Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down
Now when I look out my window
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

We said we'd take little time
For both of us to see
ANd wonder what it'd be like to carry on
Ya, I know I got crazy
Well I guess that's just me
If I could turn back time before
The wrong

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

(Can't say much about this one, but yep, it has a purpose. *grin*)

Me Vs. The World - Halo Friendlies
Hey boys, hey girls
Hey anybody who will listen to me
In case you haven't noticed
It's just me aganist the world today

I fell out of the wrong side of the bed
And landed in the worst mood
With that stupid alarm clock screaming at me
From across the room

I'm trying to be nice
I'm trying to be reasonable
But it's oh so hard when I don't wanna be
If you're looking for that nice girl
From the day before
Don't bother, she don't live here anymore

Cause it's me against the world
(Oh what a stupid day)
Yeah, it's me against the world
(Just stay out of my way)
And in case you haven't noticed
And in case you haven't heard
It's just me against the world
And the world is winning

You should have let me stay in bed
I've got this pounding in my head
No nothing's okay
Won't you stay out of my face today?
I'm slamming doors
I'm slamming phones down
Watch out for
This temper tantrum
Stay out of my way
Cause if you don't, you will be scared away

(When Kara's in a bad mood, you don't want to be on the same ship, let alone in the same room. Hehe.)

It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing - Shania Twain
Hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on
It's not so bad - I'm not that sad

I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain - I'm free again

And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath - to forget

Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right
I've never looked back - as a matter of fact

And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath - to forget

It only hurts when I breathe

(This song will be absolutely heartbreaking in the context of Insanity Underrated, and I tear up practically every time it comes on. Yep, I'm just a big ol' sap, hehe. But still. Ouch ouch ouch - almost physical pain.)

Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad - Moby

(Another instrumental, but one that's lovely and ethereal and sad all at the same time.)

One Week - Barenaked Ladies
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said "You're crazy"
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry

(This song is specific to Lee/Kara, and while I associate different parts of it with either Kara or Lee, when taken together it's a pretty good picture of their relationship, heh.)

Empty Sky - Bruce Springsteen
I woke up this morning
I could barely breathe
Just an empty impression
In the bed where you used to be
I want a kiss from your lips
I want an eye for an eye
I woke up this morning to the empty sky

Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky
Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky

Blood on the streets
Yeah blood flowin' down
I hear the blood of my blood
Cryin' from the ground

Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky
Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky

(Another utter heartbreaker. Ugh. I feel so badly for the person who will be experiencing the emotions described in this song. >.>)

If I Didn't Have You - Amanda Marshall
I don't know what I was thinking
'Til I was thinking of you
I don't remember a thing before I opened my eyes
And you came into view
I don't know what I was doing
When there was nothing to do
Must've been waiting for someone, baby
Now I can see - I was waiting for you

I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you

Driving myself to distraction
Until you got in my way
I was just whistling Dixie 'til you struck up the band
And they started to play
I don't know how I was living
Until you came in my life
I always knew there was something wrong
Then you came along
Baby, you made it right

I was alone in the silence
'Til I was hearing your voice
I couldn't see my way clear until you parted the clouds
And you gave me a choice
I couldn't pick up the pieces
'Til I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
'Til your love fixed this hole, baby, here in my heart

(You might think that this song is descriptive of the Lee/Kara relationship. Well, on that point you would be wrong. It has to do with Lee and Kara, but not with their relationship. More would be too spoilery, so I'll leave it at that.)

I'm Jealous - Shania Twain
If I were the moon, I could
catch your eye - I'm jealous of the moon
If I were the wind, I would
make you fly - I'm jealous of that too

I wish I were the sun shining
on your face - caressing like a lover
I would wrap you in a warm embrace -
we'd be holdin' one another
(I'm jealous of the sun)
I'm jealous of the sun
(Jealous of the sun) Oh,
I'm jealous of the sun

Oh, I don't wanna share you with
nothing else - I gotta have you to myself
Oh - I can't help it - I'm so in love -
I just can't get you close enough, no

When the sun's on your skin -
I can't hold it in
And I know it's a sin -
but I'm jealous of the sun

I wish I were the rain runnin' down your
neck - and drippin' from your fingers
Then I could be the drops rollin' off your
back - I'd love to let it linger
(Jealous of the rain) Oh,
I'm jealous of the rain

(Non-angst! Very very refreshing.)

Fall From Grace - Amanda Marshall
Lost inside this angeltown
Lost like I could not be found
No connections of the heart
Love was glass that broke apart
Gimme faith in dreams
And someone to hold
Gimme love 'cause I'm out here in the cold
There are no secrets
No angels at my door

And oh, when you touch my hand
I fall from grace
And oh, when you reach for me
I fall from grace

On a steeltown boulevard
Life's a promise that doesn't last
Resurrections of the past
Children come and are gone so fast
So gimme faith in love
Baby tonight
Gimme arms to hold you here so tight
There are no secrets
No angels at my door

(Can't say much about this one, but it is relevant to Insanity Underrated. Very relevant.)

Angel - Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

(Some of you might know why this song is here, and I'll neither confirm nor deny anything at this point. Hehe.)

Into The Fire - Sarah McLachlan
Mother teach me to walk again
Milk and honey, so intoxicating

I'm reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the night
I yearn for comfort

Open the doors that lead on into Eden
Don't want no cheap disguise
I follow the signs marked "back to the beginning"
No more compromise

And into the fire
I'm reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the night
I yearn for comfort

Free the water that carries me to the sea
You, I see as my security

And into the fire
I'm reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the night
I yearn for comfort

I will stare at the sun until its light doesn't blind me
I will walk into the fire 'til its heat doesn't burn me
And I will feed the fire

(I love this song, and it's here for a reason. More than that, I can't say. This must be driving some of you nuts, LOL.)

Metamorphosis One - Philip Glass

(Another instrumental, but BSG fans will know exactly why it's on here. Wouldn't be a playlist involving Kara without it!)

And if you got through all that, I think you deserve a medal! Hehe. ;)

Fic: "Insanity Underrated" (Battlestar Galactica, Lee/Kara, 5/?)

2009-06-26T01:05:28Z

Long live the BSG muse! At least for now. ;)

Title: Insanity Underrated
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Lee/Kara
Word Count: 2,722
Spoilers: Through S1's "Kobol's Last Gleaming" for this chapter
Rating: PG
Summary: Was this really what severing her ties with Lee Adama was going to be like?
Author's Notes: See icon. "Love hurts" is essentially (and unfortunately) kind of the theme for this chapter, and it refers to both physical and emotional hurt. We're nearing the end of Season 1 here, folks, and while I'm rather nervous about plunging into the S2 plotline, I am nonetheless prepared to jump in with both feet. Thanks for all your lovely reviews on the last chapters! :D

Read it here @ jedionpaper

RIP Lorena Gale, Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T23:31:35Z

I'm almost afraid to ask who's going to shuffle off this mortal coil next! Callous perhaps, but this is a one-two-three punch that's left me quite shocked. I was sad enough about Lorena Gale, who of course played Elosha on BSG, that Farah barely registered. And unfortunately, she in turn will be overshadowed many, many times over by Jackson's death. Talk about a punch to the gut.

All the retrospectives they're now doing on TV are making me feel old. Holy crap. He was certainly a character, but I did like some of his songs - "Thriller" and "Billie Jean" in particular. The minute it came on the news Andrew and I started talking about how this would probably be comparable to when Elvis died, which neither of us were alive for but which we've heard about many times. And then a newsreader said the exact same thing.

I just ... yeah, it feels really unbelievable right now. So much death for one day (though I do know that Gale actually passed on Saturday). May all three of them rest in peace. :(

This can never, ever be said too often!

2009-06-16T18:48:01Z

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Everybody's doing it ...

2009-06-16T01:44:36Z

(Icon is used because it's one of two multifandom ones I have, and besides, I adore it. :D)

All righty, enough angst. ;) I'm in the midst of both working on fic and replying to comments, but I've been meaning to put this particular poll up for quite some time, and hey - there's no time like the present, right?

I've seen this on a number of f-list journals, and the basic idea is this: an author takes a fic they've written and basically writes a DVD-style commentary about it. If you've ever listened to the commentary track on a DVD, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. The director (or fic author) discusses why they made the creative choices they did, what inspired a particular scene, what they thought about while filming/writing, etc. There's a movement afoot to write commentaries for fics, and I'm wondering what you guys would think of me doing one (or several). Incredibly, boorishly self-indulgent, or actually somewhat interesting? Below is an informative poll that asks you to decide and, should you vote yes, requests that you pick one or more fics that you'd most like me to provide commentary on.

A few notes with regards to the fics included: 1) I haven't listed either of my works-in-progress. Both Insanity Underrated and the 50-chapter monster are, for the purposes of this exercise, unfortunately off-limits. Because I haven't completed To Ignite the Stars or Insanity Underrated, I have doubts about my ability to reliably comment on them - and in some cases, it would be difficult to do so without mentioning huge spoilers for upcoming plot points in both. That's not to say I would never write commentaries for these fics, just that I'm not able to do so right now. Maybe in the future! 2) The fics listed in the second part of the poll are the ones I'm willing/able to comment on at the moment. I don't list all the fics I've ever written, partly because ticky-box polls have limited boxes and partly because some of my earlier stuff is so jaw-droppingly bad that I should probably just pull it off the internet altogether. However, if there's a fic not listed here for which you really want to see commentary, do mention it in the comments, and I'll consider it. 3) Commentaries, if I do them, will be posted to jedionpaper and linked back here, so no worries about missing them. The anal part of me just wants to keep everything organized.

View Poll: Fic Commentary by Liz

Any other questions, comments, or other gripes about this exercise? Throw 'em at me in comments and I'll see what I can do. :)

Fic: "Insanity Underrated" (Battlestar Galactica, Lee/Kara, 4/?)

2009-06-12T20:54:13Z

When my BSG muse decides to be productive, she gets really, REALLY productive. Heh.

Title: Insanity Underrated
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Lee/Kara, brief one-sided Baltar/Kara
Word Count: 3,331
Spoilers: Through S1's "Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part I" for this chapter
Rating: NC-17 for a brief sexual scene
Summary: He took a deep breath, telling himself to just go with whatever came out of his mouth, no matter the consequences. It would be honest, and that was important.
Author's Notes: Thanks for your lovely reviews on the last few chapters! I'm taking advantage of a big burst of BSG-related inspiration to pound out as many chapters of this fic as I can, and it's going really well so far - though I would of course never abandon IU. It's something that I just have to write. This particular chapter has been sitting on my hard drive since about late March, but only half of it was written and it was an absolute MESS, so I've prettied it up significantly and added a lot of material. Parts were heavily inspired by Alanis Morrisette's song Front Row, despite the fact that this obviously isn't a songfic. Something tells me I'm going to end up making an Insanity Underrated playlist one of these days. ;) And as for the ending, please don't kill me? It's pilots, so you know things are a bit screwed up. Heh.

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Fic: "Insanity Underrated" (Battlestar Galactica, Lee/Kara, 3/?)

2009-06-05T04:17:42Z

As promised. *grins* Will crosspost to communities and such tomorrow when I'm not falling over with exhaustion. Heh.

Title: Insanity Underrated
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Lee/Kara, others mentioned
Word Count: 2,908
Spoilers: Through S1's "Colonial Day" for this chapter
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dammit, he wasn’t going to fall for this again. And yet …
Author's Notes: Yeah, I really fail at updating (and at answering reviews) on time, but I'm hoping to rectify both of those things over the next month or so. School ate my brain for awhile there, what with it being my graduating year, and my muse also went on an extended and unscheduled vacation. Heh. But, as proof that I still do plan to take this fic places, I've come back to it, and I'd like to have the S1 arc finished by the middle of next week. We'll see how good I am at actually, you know, doing that. This chapter is again mainly from Lee's perspective, and the dialogue at the end will be familiar (it's from "Colonial Day"). It might seem mostly like a bridge chapter, and it sort of is, but some important things happen which will set up events for future chapters. Enjoy!

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Yay writing rambles!

2009-05-29T22:16:54Z

(I started typing this at work when it was relatively slow this afternoon and Twitter was broken, and I'm now finishing it at home. Heh. I pretty much fail sometimes, heh.)

I've been thinking some more about bsg_bigbang, and I have to say that I am leaning towards not signing up. It would suck on one level because I wouldn't have the fun of participating and seeing my fic made into icons and vids and so forth, but at this point I'm just not sure whether making Insanity Underrated into a bsg_bigbang work would be the best thing for the fic. For one thing, it would delay it being posted until November-ish, when online stuff will not be first and foremost in my mind, and when interest in BSG fics may have dimmed significantly. I don't like to think of the fandom potentially dying, but it's a possibility I need to plan for. And it's not even about the reviews - far from it. If that were the case, I'd have abandoned TIS a long time ago. I just think that posting Insanity Underrated while there is significant continuing interest in BSG fandom would be more fun, and there's better potential for that to be the case now as opposed to in November.

The other thing is that I seem to have at least partially rediscovered my inspiration to write Insanity Underrated. Now, signing up for bsg_bigbang wouldn't necessarily preclude me working on it right now, but it would preclude me posting Chapters 3 and 4 once I've edited them, as well as any future chapters. And I'm not sure whether waiting to post a longfic until it's done is really my style. I did that with The Sound of One Hand Clapping, but that was kind of a special case. I didn't originally intend that to be a longfic, and it wasn't until it was about three-quarters done that I did a word count and realized, "Whoops, I'm going to need to post this in multiple chapters." Insanity Underrated was a multi-chapter longfic from the start, and I never had any illusions that it would be anything else.

I wasn't sure at first why I lost my inspiration to work on it, but that was one of the only reasons I had considered signing up for bsg_bigbang. (The other had to do with the special icons and vids, but I'm sure that if I really want icons from it, I can hit up the lovely folks on my f-list. :D) I thought it might keep me on track as far as writing Insanity Underrated goes, but I'm now starting to realize that a lot of my anxiety towards the fic had to do with a major plot point that's going to come into play in the S2 arc, and whether said plot arc would be believable and true to character. I think it will, so long as I handle it carefully, but it's going to mean a few changes to the canon arc of Season 2. I just hope I can do those well, and that folks will forgive the long period of time between chapter updates. Heh.

As far as To Ignite the Stars is concerned, I posted Chapter 50 last night, so I am just a little proud of myself. I knew it was going to have to go at least 50 chapters length-wise, but what I didn't know was whether I'd be able to keep up my interest in the fic. That's been a problem for me in the past - I don't know how many writing projects I've started and then subsequently abandoned because I lost interest or got bored. With TIS, though, I soon discovered that it was a story I had to tell. I didn't really have a choice as to whether to write it or not; it was going to make its way out regardless. I've learned a lot about myself while working on it, and I'm sure I'll learn even more before it's finished. Ideally, I would like that to be in October, which is another reason that going out for bsg_bigbang might not be the slickest idea. TIS is very important to me, and it tends to try and snatch my attention away just when I'd prefer to be working on something else. It usually succeeds, too - let's just say I have like zero willpower when it comes to that sort of thing. Heh.

Right now I am once again being pulled between two projects, and while Insanity Underrated is currently winning, I don't want to leave TIS un-updated for very long, at least not as long as I'm working my way through the current plot arc. The last chapter ended on a crazy cliffhanger, and even though that was mostly by design, I get the feeling I'll have some very freaked out readers if I don't update soon. ;) It's wonderful to know that they're so wrapped up in the story, though. While the response to To Ignite the Stars has been small, those who read it leave some amazing and very flattering reviews, and although I emphasize again that my world does NOT revolve around comments, it is nonetheless wonderful to know that something in which you've put your heart and soul is being so well-received. Which reminds me, I really need to respond to those comments on the Anonymous Feedback Meme. Yet more proof that I fail, heh.

I have stillness community stuff to do tonight - lots of it - but I will in all probability squeeze some writing in there somewhere. Along with more True Blood. SO glad Andrew and I decided to do a Season 1 rewatch before the S2 premiere on June 14. I LOVE ALAN BALL ~~and I don't care who frakking knows~~. *grins*

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 50/?)

2009-05-29T03:47:19Z

This time I actually remembered! Go me. :D

Title: Flight from Chandrila
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, Luke, Leia, others
Word Count: 5,670
Rating: PG
Summary: Now they stood in the interminable line, his wife leaning against him and the twins bickering. It was an utter nightmare.
Author's Notes: As big as the cliffhangers of the last few chapters have been, this one is bigger. Heh. I can only say that there will be a resolution to all of this. Might not be a resolution you guys necessarily like, but I'll try not to leave folks hanging for too much longer. Promise. :) There's also some fluff in here, which may or may not have been inspired by a cracky late-night IMing session between myself and my beta. ;) 'Twas an absolute joy to write. :D

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 49/?)

2009-05-26T04:39:45Z

Thank you, lealynnkenobi, for reminding me! I really am an epic pile of Faily McFailerson sometimes. *headdesk*

Title: Intrusion
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, Luke, Leia, Mon Mothma
Word Count: 3,594
Rating: PG
Summary: The Empire’s envoy would find them, and surely they would imprison her family … Luke and Leia, as Force-sensitives, would be taken to Vader, and perhaps to Palpatine himself, with her unborn child sharing that fate as soon as he or she arrived … and Obi-Wan — oh, what would they do to her husband?
Author's Notes: Another short-ish chapter - or, at least, shorter than what you guys are ~~spoiled by~~ accustomed to - and another cliffhanger, heh. Don't shoot me, as there will eventually be a resolution to all this. Promise. ;) I meant to put this up earlier today, as I also meant to answer comments on the last post, but my personal life has sort of gone 'splodey over the past weekend or so and I didn't get a chance until just now. Chapter 50 is almost done, and should follow within the next few days, as will replies to your awesome reviews. :)

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Happy Birthday, iluvworms and katamaran78!

2009-05-22T03:26:05Z

Happy happy birthday to two lovely ladies on my friends list - iluvworms and katamaran78!

katamaran78 - I first friended you for the fic, but I stayed for your witty, amusing, prescient commentary on all aspects of life. It's one of my fic-reading missions to some day catch up on "Through a Glass, Lightly," because I am very intrigued by the concept and if it's anything like your other work, I know it will be made of pure unadulterated awesome. You make me giggle, you make me grin and you make me nod my head in complete agreement on so many different occasions, and I'm pleased as punch to have you on my f-list!

iluvworms - From high school to MASH to fantasies to wacky brain conversations and beyond, where shall I begin? ;) Gen, you have consistently been one of the most positive aspects of and influences on my life since we met in 2001. I know I can always count on you to make me laugh when I've had a crappy day, to make me smile with the pictures and YouTube vids you dig up, and to make me wonder exactly how much carpet we were smoking when I look back over our IM conversations! You are one of my best friends, you are my confidante, you are my partner in crime and my cheerleader, and I love you so very much. Don't ever get any more sane, k? :D

I hope the both of you have had a wonderful day, with many more yet to come! ♥ ♥ ♥

follows her f-list like the sheep that she is

2009-05-20T16:43:43Z

What the hey, I'll throw my hat into the ring. Honestly not expecting much, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take! ;)

THE ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME

(Real post and fic to come later, I promise. And the "sick" mood? I HAVE A COLD, OKAY? ;) *snerk* *pets the mother hens*)

Buy one plotbunny, get one absolutely free!

2009-05-20T00:48:58Z

So'm, I haven't posted much over the last few days because there hasn't been much going on in my life worth posting about, other than that I have a slight cold, and I don't think it's necessary for you guys to know the details of that. Heh. ;) My big focus this week, and much of last, has been writing To Ignite the Stars, and trying to push through a pretty major plot arc therein. I seem to have rediscovered my motivation, at least where TIS is concerned, but at the rate I'm writing I'll probably reach the A New Hope part of the fic by the time I'm, oh, 90 or so. *facepalm* I don't know what it is about this particular arc that's causing so much difficulty, especially since I've been visualizing it in my mind for months now.

But, as ever, I am valiantly carrying on. Chapter 49 is basically ready to post; it just needs one last editing go-over with Katie via IM, which we'll probably do in a couple hours or so. I've written 3,472 words of Chapter 50 but haven't yet reached said chapter's "Big Reveal," as it were, so I also need to do that today. I haven't even looked at the Drabble Request Post lately, though I do have a few of those ideas written down and some plans percolating in the old brain. However, as I said, my primary focus is TIS right now and I probably won't turn my attention to the drabbles (or those poor old birthday fics I owe some of you guys) until I'm finished this particular plot arc. I also really need to make a decision about bsg_bigbang, since said decision will affect what I do with Insanity Underrated and when.

Believe it or not, though, writing is actually not the main point of this post! Well, it is and it isn't, really. A couple of plotbunnies have been distracting me from writing over the last little while and I figure the best way to keep them from doing that is to put them in an LJ post and blab and ramble about them a bit. So, here goes.

Plotbunnies. Oh, plotbunnies. Those who've been around these parts for awhile know that May seems to be my absolute worst time for getting deluged by plotbunnies, for whatever reason. Exhibit A: May 24th, 2007 (how sad is it that I remember the exact date?) - plotbunny for To Ignite the Stars birthed. Exhibit B: May 2008 - plotbunny for The Sound of One Hand Clapping birthed. Both of those turned into pretty major fics, and in TIS's case, I'm still following the bunny through to its conclusion. On The Sound of One Hand Clapping, I wrote for about 20 days, each day spending about seven or eight hours straight in front of the computer, typing. I set myself the goal of getting to 1,000 words or above per day, and every day I equaled or exceeded that goal. It was certainly one of the most intensely creative periods in my life, and I can only dream of somehow replicating it.

It was thus with some trepidation that I watched the arrival of May 2009, wondering what my brain might have in store for me and at the same time dreading it, because right now I am working on two established projects that I can't really afford to derail for very long. And while the plotbunnies themselves stayed away for the first part of May, they seemed to have decided to kidnap my creativity and bring it along with them, since up until the beginning of last week this was looking like the month of 2009 during which I would accomplish the least. I didn't seem to be able to meet any of my writing goals and I was getting downright frustrated. For once, complaining about it and having long hand-holding sessions with Katie over AIM didn't appear to be helping. My confidence was particularly shot with regards to Insanity Underrated, as I managed to convince myself that everything I'd planned for Kara and Lee through S2 was impossible, crappy, unrealistic, out-of-character and would no doubt be met with derision from a wider audience. Katie is still talking about last Monday when she came home to a frantic IM from me wailing, "THE OUTLINE FOR SEASON 2 SUCKS/IS TOTAL BULLSHIT AND I THINK I'VE TURNED KARA INTO A MARY SUE! *CRIES!!!!!!*" We spoke later on and I was literally this close to throwing in the towel, ripping up my outline and/or disposing of it completely. Insanity Underrated does fundamentally work, but I was so frustrated with my lack of progress on ANYTHING that I was ready to decide it didn't. I went through similar jitters with TIS when I first started it, and while I probably would change a couple little things and smooth some stuff out if I had a chance to go back and re-write that fic, the overall idea is basically sound. I'm hoping it's the same with Insanity Underrated.

Things are different this week. I got some good writing done over the weekend and am feeling a mite more confident about my abilities. The only bad news about my confidence returning is ... it dragged those DAMNED PLOTBUNNIES back with it. It couldn't have left them in Hawaii or on Mars or someplace - nope, it had to bring them back and foist them on me and exclaim, "Hey, look at all these cool new ideas! Wouldn't it be great if we wrote some of these cool new ideas? Like, now?" LE SIGH.

One of those ideas is actually for a fic that I had planned to pursue after TIS is completed. It's another Star Wars AU longfic, but this time focusing on canonical pairings and another "what-if" scenario with regards to those. In my personal (non-Obidala) canon, the pairing of Obi-Wan/Siri gave us Mara Jade, and I've been wanting to explore how exactly that might come about. Part of that would most probably involve Qui-Gon and Yoda allowing the relationship on some level - though why they'd do this I haven't exactly figured out - and then after Siri's death, I have this whole thing worked out where before she's going to die, Obi-Wan holds her and she makes him promise to look after Mara (who is by then two, three-ish, maybe? I haven't figured out timelines either) and to make sure Mara knows that he's her father and Siri was her mother as she grows up. And Obi-Wan as a single father ... well, I don't know why that concept appeals to me as an author - maybe because it's a classic fish-out-of-water situation and I love those - but I'd like to explore it in a realistic AU.

In this context Anakin/Padmé would happen as it does in canon, as would Anakin's fall, and I'm thinking of telling the story in flashbacks from the point of view of an older Obi-Wan or Mara, maybe ten or so years after Revenge of the Sith. A couple of the major issues with this particular fic plot: 1) Timelines. Mara would, for plot purposes, need to be young-ish at the time of the Temple massacre, so I need to figure out exactly how different time periods would work and if I need to adjust any of them for plot purposes. 2) Mara as Mary Sue. Now, I know she is technically considered a canonical Mary Sue by those familiar with the EU (I'm ... not, so much), so I guess I'd like to minimize those Sue-ish aspects as much as possible. The potential problem is that I'm afraid some of the stuff I'm planning to have happen to her, particularly involving her relationship with Anakin and her parentage, might turn her into a Sue anyway. >.> I just ... I hate the idea of having a Sue in my fic - I mean, I know I wrote them when I was just starting out writing, but I'd like to think I'm sort of beyond that. The only thing I could see in my fic that maybe wouldn't turn Mara into a full Mary Sue is her lack of special abilities and how other characters react to her. But those are sort of flimsy by themselves anyway, so I don't know.

I'm not going to start working on this right away, not even on refining it or fixing the plot holes, because of my issues with having two projects on the go in the same fandom. But it's been on my mind, so I thought I'd jot down the preliminaries here so I can refer back to them in 2034 or whenever I'm finished TIS. ;)

The second idea is a fic I actually did start after I finished reading Wild Space, but then lost the inspiration for before I could finish. It's Obi-Wan/Padmé, and in my mind is set in the TIS universe, though really all a reader would need to know to understand it is that Obi-Wan and Padmé are in a pre-established relationship by the time of Wild Space's events, and that she did not marry Anakin. It's a missing scene taking place near the end, and is basically unabashed hurt/comfort. I was really having fun with it, at least until my brain decided to move on to something else, but now I'm suddenly inspired to finish - or at least continue - this fic. So I'm sort of dividing myself, spending one hour on TIS and one hour on my Wild Space fic. It's weird, but good.

All things being equal, I'll post Chapter 49 of To Ignite the Stars likely tonight or tomorrow, depending on when I can get it edited. The WS fic ... well, I'm hoping to finish it once and for all, and if I do, that'll also be put up asap.

I was going to blather about stillness community stuff too, but I think that's a topic for another, friends locked, post. So I shall leave you folks with this, and head back to writing and watching the hockey game.

Happy Birthday, queen_meep!

2009-05-17T03:54:40Z

Juuuuuuuust sneaking in at the deadline, hehehe. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. ;) Anyway, I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to my good friend Jenny, aka queen_meep! We first met as jedi_news editors, but over time we have come to share so much more - ships (Anakin/Padmé!); opinions (Anakin is awesome and should not in ANY way be subtracted from Star Wars, since that makes it not SW anymore!); certain real life circumstances and a lot of personal stuff. But through all of that we have become stronger, and I feel so very lucky to have a lovely lady like yourself on my friends list. ♥ ♥ ♥ *hugs*

At the moment I have a stack of birthday fics to write that's taller than I am, so I won't promise any specific date on which yours will be posted. ;) But, I'm hoping you'll like what I do come up with! I also hope you've had a terrific day, and that there are many more such days to come! :D

To bang or not to bang; that is the question

2009-05-14T15:54:46Z

Good morning, dear f-list! Hope y'all are having a good day so far, though judging by some of the posts on LJ and tweets on Twitter, it's not going very well for some of you. :( *hugs* I hope it gets better soon!

I've been grappling with a dilemma the past several days, and while it's not really that much of an issue in the grand scheme of things, it has nonetheless been occupying a rather large portion of my brainspace. And since I'm evidently incapable of making a decision for myself without consulting teh intarwebz, I decided to hop on here and ask you guys - particularly the Kara/Lee shippers - about it.

See, there's this really awesome new community, and it's called bsg_bigbang. The idea is that authors, artists and vidders will sign up, and from May to November the authors will write a 20,000+-word BSG fic. When said fic is complete, it will be posted to that community, and the artists will make special icons from it and the vidders will vid scenes from the fic. Cool cool cool, right? And good for those of us who may need a kick in the pants to finish those AUs languishing around our hard drives.

As most of you probably know, I am the writer of one such AU. I love Insanity Underrated, and I'm excited about and devoted to its plot. The problem? Zero motivation. Part of the issue is that To Ignite the Stars is consuming my motherfrakking LIFE right now, but the other part is ... zero motivation. And I figure that if I signed up for bsg_bigbang, I'd have at least a fighting chance of getting back to work on it due to the guilt complex that will ensue if I didn't finish it in time. (I am good at guilting, yo. Almost as good as Obi-Wan or Lee.) The comm is even offering cheerleaders to each author, and while I have a ready cheerleader/beta reader in Katie, other peer pressure can't hurt, right? I asked the mods if it's okay to use a fic that you've already posted two chapters of, and they said that's fine as long as you hold back all further chapters until the November deadline. And ICONS. And VIDS. Of MY FIC. Seriously, it doesn't get much cooler than that!

So why have I not gotten my ass over there and signed up? Well, first of all because there's always a chance that I'll rediscover my motivation without the help of a fancy-shmancy community. It's certainly happened before, as TIS readers can attest. Plus, there's the fact that if I did sign up for this, Insanity Underrated readers wouldn't get any more chapters of the fic until November. I'd be working on it, I'd be completing chapters, but I wouldn't be able to post them since I would have given first rights to bsg_bigbang. And now to November is a looooooong damned time not to post a fic in which, presumably, you want there to be ongoing interest.

My dilemma is therefore this, f-list: should I sign up for bsg_bigbang? If I did, it would have to be with Insanity Underrated, since monster fic plotbunnies are somewhat difficult to come by. The pros are that I would finish it, and I'd get it iconned and vidded to boot. The cons are that readers would have to wait until November to get the whole thing - but I'd probably finish it in October due to certain, ah, time constraints. ;) At least it would be completed, though, and there wouldn't be any fear that I'd suddenly abandon it.

So. Opinions? Suggestions? Yays, nays? Lemme hear 'em! :D

Things to Know if You Follow Me on Twitter

2009-05-12T03:20:26Z

(If you're on my f-list and follow me on Twitter, this DOES NOT apply to you. I'm putting up this post for all the other folks who have chosen to follow me on that marvelous social-networking site. Heh. It's too long for Twitter itself, and as this is the only multi-purpose blog I maintain, it goes here. Under a cut, of course!)

When I first joined Twitter, I did it mainly because a ton of my LJ friends had Twitter accounts and I thought it looked cool. I also really liked the idea of little capsule updates, which wouldn't require the amount of thought that goes into a typical LJ post for me. I'm not terribly active on other social-networking sites - Facebook turned out to be an absolute bust for me - but I decided to give Twitter a whirl.

Overall I've had a ton of fun, and have gotten the chance to follow some really fun and interesting people. But along with that, I've run into some ... let's call them issues, and since a few of these seem to keep cropping up, I decided it was finally time to make a post addressing them, and giving Twitter followers an idea of where I stand.

- By and large, I will not follow you back unless I know you from somewhere, either LJ, another website, or real life. Believe me, this is nothing personal. It's just that I do happen to have a life outside of the computer, and it would be absolutely impossible for me to give 130 different followers the kind of attention I feel they deserve. Similarly to LJ, I also like to have some idea of who folks are before I see their posts - or tweets - showing up on my list. Feel free to follow me anyway, and I hope you enjoy my tweets! :)

- If you are from LJ and choose to follow me and I have not added you back, please leave a comment on this post to let me know who you are on Twitter. I don't want to miss anybody I should have legitimately added!

- I tweet often. I tweet quickly. I tweet about stuff that's happening to me, stuff that's happened to my friends, random thoughts that flit across my brain, whatever writing projects I happen to be working on at a particular time, and the occasional rant. If you can't handle lots of tweets on your watcher page, you'd probably be better off not following me.

- The person in my usericon is not me. That's Natalie Portman, and she is infinitely more beautiful than I ever have been or ever will be. So, while it's wonderful to be complimented on my looks, I'd feel much better if you complimented me on my actual looks rather than those of a random movie star/celebrity. And NO, I do not look like Natalie Portman. I wish.

- Corollary: I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of pictures of myself I have made public in my thirteen years on the internet. That ought to tell you something right there, which is that I hardly ever post pictures. This is mostly for privacy reasons, and because I believe the maxim that once you put an image of yourself on the internet, it ceases to belong to you. That's not really how I roll, so I have made the decision not to share pictures of myself, my family, or where I live, except with a very small, select audience on my LiveJournal. Again, it's nothing personal. There are just a lot of creeps out there, and while I'm sure most people are honest and hardworking and all of that, there's absolutely no way to tell who the few bad apples are that might ruin the whole bunch. If you do ask for a picture of me (and folks have before), expect to be politely but firmly told no.

- I didn't join Twitter to find a boyfriend (or a girlfriend, for that matter!). My personal life is my own, and if and when I do look for a partner, it will not be online. Believe it or not, I have gotten the occasional proposition via Twitter, and while those are sweet, I will turn you down.

- My opinions, my opinions. Your opinions, your opinions. We've all heard the expression "Opinions are like assholes - everyone's got one," right? I will make every effort to understand your opinions and to debate them with you in a respectful manner. In return, I would like you to do the same for my opinions. You may not always like or agree with what I have to say, but I hope you know that I have the right to say it.

- "Remove" buttons are friends, not food. If all of a sudden you decide you don't like what I have to say anymore or you're sick of seeing my tweets show up on your home page or whatever, just press that handy-dandy little button, and the problem will be solved. No hard feelings, I promise!

- If you act like a creep (repeatedly asking for pictures, repeatedly coming on to me or otherwise being obnoxious), expect to be treated like one. Look, I'm basically a polite person, but I do have my limits. Those folks who are being idiots will be the first to see those limits slip. Insist on being a knucklehead? I will block you, and with very few reservations.

I'm sure this list makes me sound very standoffish, and honestly, I don't intend it that way. I just want things to be very clear, and I also want to maybe clear up a few questions you might have. Any others that don't appear here? Feel free to ask; anonymous commenting is enabled if you don't have a LiveJournal account. Despite the above, I truly am approachable. :)

Drabble requests are now ... OPEN!

2009-05-10T03:56:01Z

Okay. So. I want to make something very clear up front: this is totally, completely and entirely savvyelfpirate's fault. She posted the drabble request meme on her journal, I was perusing my f-list, I saw it, I commented to request something from her, and so I am now bound by the Meme Gods to do the precise same thing lest they smite me! 'Cause they do so love to smite, y'know. ;)

I am, however, making a couple of significant alterations to the original. If I get smited for that, well, then I guess I get smited. Yaaaaaay masochism!

The first fifteen people to comment in this post get to request a drabble from me. You don't have to repost this in your LJ if you don't want to - just be sure to read the guidelines/caveats below. :)

The aforementioned guidelines/caveats:

1) Fifteen slots rather than the original ten. Because I am generous like that. :D

2) Despite the "drabble" moniker, I reserve the right to transform the drabbles into ficlets depending upon the prompt and the vagaries of my muse. In fact, they probably will be ficlets, since I SUCK at the 100-word-limit thing.

3) My two main fandoms, as most of you probably know, are Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica (2003). Anything else I'd be kinda twitchy about writing, not to mention inexperienced.

4) Things I will not write. Every writer has them, and I am no exception. Anything involving marital infidelity and non-consensual sex I am absolutely not comfortable with, for personal reasons. Similarly, though I'm pretty equal-opportunity when it comes to most BSG pairings, I can't abide Kara/Leoben and Tigh/Caprica Six in a romantic capacity (those damn personal reasons again). Sorry, guys. I'd also shy away from requesting BSG slash, but only because I'm really inexperienced at it. Heh. No real issues with most SW pairings - aside from Qui/Obi, which I'm just sort of "eh" about. I'll say this as well: suggest Dormékin, and I WILL shoot you. Yes. Through your computer screen. With my invisible non-existent gun.

5) Slash is perfectly acceptable set in the SW 'verse.

6) I will write all ratings, from G (K) to NC-17 (MA).

7) If you request Obi-Wan/Padmé - totally legit, by the way - it may be set in the TIS universe, as my brain seems to be incapable of placing O/P in any other context at the moment. Heh.

All drabbles/ficlets will be posted to jedionpaper and linked back here. Just basically my way of keeping things tidy, and there's no need to worry about missing any of them since I'll also comment back to you when your drabble has been posted.

I believe that's it, so ... GO!

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 48/?)

2009-05-08T19:14:24Z

Yep, this is the chapter with the cliffhanger. Don't say I didn't warn you! ;)

Title: Triggers
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, Mon Mothma (briefly)
Word Count: 4,618
Rating: NC-17 - yep, there's more smut, heh
Summary: “Oh, good, Lily gave you the message. I have some rather bad news.”
Author's Notes: So, here's the next chapter, as promised. :) Katie has convinced me to post this particular plot arc chapter-by-chapter even though that will mean some craaaazy cliffhangers, and I agreed mostly because at the rate that I'm writing right now, the entire arc might not be finished until roughly 2020. *headdesk* In any case, I hope to pick it up soon - just be aware that there might be a few days' gap between chapters as I try to bully my muse into giving me more than just dribs and drabs. Heh. And also, this is the chapter in which Obi-Wan and Padmé have an argument about bubble bath. Yes, bubble bath. *eyes her subconscious* I kind of scare myself sometimes. LOL.

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 47/?)

2009-05-08T03:45:11Z

Here you go, Lynda. ;) (And other TIS readers, of course!) I lied - no cliffhanger this chapter, but there will most definitely be one in the update I have in store for tomorrow. Heh.

Title: Satisfaction
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, others mentioned
Word Count: 4,494
Rating: NC-17 - married people doing married things
Summary: But if she had not been his anchor, he knew he would not have survived.
Author's Notes: Okay, so I was going to wait until I'd finished the latest plot arc to post, but since some of you (read: Lynda and Gen, LOL) have been bugging me for updates and I'm writing quite slowly at the moment for whatever reason, I knuckled under and decided to put up the stuff that's edited and ready and all pretty-like. This chapter is fluff at its absolute fluffiest - and, uh, smuttiest, too. ;) Given the emotional impacts of the upcoming plot arcs, both myself and the characters needed an interlude like this to prepare ourselves. No cliffhanger here, though it's coming in the chapter I'll post tomorrow. (Yes, I actually have two to post rather than one. Apparently I fail at keeping track of my own damn fic?) Those who are familiar with the Expanded Universe may note one minor inconsistency with regards to the Rebel Alliance and who named it, but I hope that for the sake of this particular narrative, you'll be willing to forgive that. :)

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Happy Fourth!

2009-05-05T00:30:42Z

Happy Star Wars Day, f-list! In truth I have no idea why precisely today is referred to as such - probably due to the date when A New Hope was released, but I'm currently too lazy to look it up. Heh.

I spent the first half of the day ranting about Prequel bashers, triggered mainly by reading the following tweet on Twitter: "Talk to your kids about the Star Wars Prequels, because if you don't, somebody else will." Cue Liz's back immediately getting up, and me bristling as I typed this reply: "Talk to your kids about SW Prequel bashers, because if you don't, somebody else will. ;)"

I get so annoyed when I see or hear people ragging on the prequels, because NEWSFLASH, some of us BECAME STAR WARS FANS by watching the Prequels! I am 23 years old. Therefore, I wasn't born yet in 1977 when Episode IV was released. Or in 1980, when Episode V was released. OR in 1983, when Episode VI was released! My father tried to introduce me to the Original Trilogy when I was twelve, and guess what? I fell asleep about ten minutes into A New Hope, and woke as the credits were rolling. I then pronounced it the most boring movie I'd ever seen, and told my father that under no circumstances was I watching the others. I consider it one heck of a miracle that Dad managed to get me anywhere NEAR the theatre in 1999 when Phantom Menace opened. After all, it had the "Star Wars" label attached, and I had it in my mind at that point that suggesting, "Want to watch Star Wars?" was equivalent to, "Want to watch grass grow?"

I know, I know, the above all sounds absurd now. I adore Star Wars. I write fanfiction. I edit a SW fandom newsletter. I'm neck-deep (to the tune of 564 pages and 236,995 words, thank you very much) into a SW AU fic. But once upon a time, I hated the whole damn concept. It wasn't until I'd seen TPM and had a chance to connect with a young woman named Padmé Amidala that I was even slightly more favourably disposed towards George Lucas' creation. And I had watched the Prequels, all three of them, multiple times before I would consider trying the OT again.

And even now, A New Hope, the film with which many SW fans seemed to fall so much in love, doesn't do a whole lot for me. I accept it as part of canon, I always watch it when I hold a Star Wars marathon, and it will have a significant part in TIS. But it's not my favourite. In fact, it's my least favourite SW movie. Episodes III and V are my faves, the ones I'd take with me to a desert island, the ones I could watch over and over again. I will always pick the Prequels over the Originals because of Padmé.

Does that make me a blasphemer? Well, I suppose it must. Not that I'm not used to this, mind you. ;) Unpopular opinions are practically my modus operandi. And I will very happily stand up and state unequivocally that I LOVE THE PREQUEL TRILOGY. I was raised on it, just as OT preferers were raised on the OT. I identify with its characters, just as OT preferers identify with OT characters. I could watch it over and over, just like OT preferers could watch the OT. Also:

- You say you stood up and cheered when Leia grabbed a blaster from Luke and shot down the Death Star hallway before ordering Han & Co. into the garbage disposal? Well, I stood up and cheered when Padmé Amidala planned the successful incursion into Theed in TPM, and I cheered even more loudly when she took an active role in that plan's execution.

- You say Han/Leia was your very first childhood OTP? While I will not dispute the inherent AWESOMENESS of that ship, I will also say that Anakin/Padmé was mine. Crappy dialogue and all. Deal with it.

- You say you found inspiration in the redemption story between Luke and Anakin? I find inspiration in that too, but the breakdown of the brother-bond between Anakin and Obi-Wan in Episode III was just as compelling for me, and just as likely to play on my emotions. More likely, in fact, than the ending of A/P's relationship.

Those are just three examples, but I could go on. For almost every point supporting the OT, I can find a counterpoint for the PT. There's an argument - friendly, but still an argument - that Katie and I have been having ever since I got into Star Wars, that centres on the question: "Which trilogy will you show your kids first?" She's going to start with the OT. I will start with the PT.

Look, folks, I'm not disputing your personal right to prefer the Original Trilogy, not at all. That's your opinion and you are perfectly entitled to it. But, all I'm asking for is a bit of simple courtesy. You wouldn't like someone to constantly demean and insult you for prefering the Originals, would you? Well, PT-lovers don't enjoy it much either when it's done to us. The bottom line is that ALL OF US, whether we like the PT or the OT, love Star Wars. And in my humble opinion, that's all we need.

ETA: As several astute f-listers have mentioned (well, more astute than I, anyway!), the 4th thing is probably just because it fits into "May the Fourth be with you!" But I liked my explanation better. ;)

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 46/?)

2009-04-23T03:50:00Z

Title: Moments of Peace and Remembrance
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé
Word Count: 3,741
Rating: Light R (mentions of past torture and general ickiness connected with same)
Summary: His eyes jerked open and he did his best to suppress a small sigh. It was going to be a long three months.
Author's Notes: Okay, so, I haven't yet responded to the reviews on the last chapter, but I promise I'll get to those as soon as this post goes up. I just figured that since I promised this to you guys like ... a week ago, I might want to, you know, perhaps put it up? Maybe? Yeah. Hehehe. The good news is that since I am now officially DONE with university (yay Liz!), updates will hopefully come a LOT more frequently. I'm already halfway done with Chapter 48, and Chapter 47 is ready, but I've been putting off posting them because, as xkatie_kittenx can attest, a cliffhanger would be a VERY BAD THING right now. Heh. But the whole arc should go up relatively soon. This particular chapter is mostly fluff, though it does contain allusions to past torture, bodily harm and undignified behaviour, so be on your guard if you are in any way squicked by that kind of thing.

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 45/?)

2009-04-19T03:58:02Z

My apologies for the lateness on this, TIS readers! As you may know, this past week and today was ... well, not exactly conducive to me coding and posting fic. Heh.

Title: The Brave One
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, Vader
Word Count: 4,116
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Vader could not take on Sidious alone, but it would be possible — just possible — if he had the help of two able-bodied youngsters.
Author's Notes: This is being posted a little later than I'd hoped, but last week was a busy one for me real life-wise - yay exams, or actually NOT - and so fanfiction was not foremost in my mind. Heh. But anyway, we get a little more of Vader in this chapter (expect him and his influence to show up more and more frequently throughout this plot arc), which I as a writer was happy with because I simply adore writing him. But there's also some Obi-Wan/Padmé fluff, so those of you who came for that will hopefully not be disappointed. :) If all goes well for me, Chapter 46 should post tomorrow.

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Fic: "The Visitor" (Battlestar Galactica, Lee/Kara, 1/1)

2009-04-15T02:12:11Z

Reposted fic is reposted, hehe, at least for those of you who were a part of bsgficexchange. I'll try to have some new stuff, in the form of updates to TIS and Insanity Underrated, very soon!

Title: The Visitor
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Characters/Pairings: Lee/Kara
Word Count: 1,723
Spoilers: Through S4.5's "Daybreak, Part 2"
Rating: NC-17 for sexual scenes
Summary: “Gods, Lee, you’re out of practice. I’ll have to come back more often.”
Author's Notes: This was written for bsgficexchange, and is basically my version of finale fix-it fic, something I felt I had to complete in order to be personally okay with Daybreak. My giftee, lotus79, requested Lee/Kara and smut, and I was blocked for the longest time on what I should write since the finale had pretty much sapped my L/K inspiration (except for on Insanity Underrated, and I could hardly submit that!). I can't exactly pinpoint where this idea came from ... well, actually I can, but I'm not telling. :P Close friends will probably be able to guess. :)

Read it here @ jedionpaper

Happy Birthday, gizzi1213!

2009-04-13T04:04:22Z

There's still five minutes before tomorrow!! ;) But seriously, happy happy birthday to my very good friend gizzi1213!

While we ship different SW pairings, I have always respected and admired you for being able to rise above that - which not all folks would be willing to do, believe me. We of course agree on the EPIC HOTNESS that is Anakin/Obi-Wan, and we share a ... uh, strong dislike ... of Dormékin. *grin*

More than that, though, you have become a true friend to me outside of fandom, Deborah, and I cannot possibly express in words how much that means to me. I've shared a lot of things with you that very few other folks know, and have come to greatly appreciate your thoughtful analysis and kind words. I also love being able to debate matters with you in a mature way - which, again, is not something offered by just anybody.

I hope you've had a terrific day, and a happy Easter! Unfortunately your birthday gift didn't quiiiiite get posted, but I'm hoping to have it up either tomorrow or Tuesday. *BIG hugs* :D

Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 43, 44/?)

2009-04-12T03:02:51Z

Your eyes do not deceive you. This is Liz finally - finally - posting fic!

Titles: The Threat and Chandrila
Author: senatorsfan_ink
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, others
Word Counts: 4,801 and 3,476 respectively
Ratings: PG for both chapters
Summaries: Please see the individual chapter posts.
Author's Notes: Please see the individual chapter posts.

Chapter 43 - The Threat
Chapter 44 - Chandrila